You Can't Make This Shit Up

"You've got something on your face. No.... a little higher. Yeah, there. Oh, that's a mole? Oh.... [long pause.] It's pretty."

I had this Austin Powers moment in the elevator at work yesterday. It looked like chocolate ... apparently I was mistaken. The opportunity of letting people know when they have food in their teeth, snowflakes in their nose or various forms of eye-puke is one of the rare occasions I really step up and become a decent human being.

Despite the obvious discomfort during my attempt of selfless kindness yesterday, I will not allow it to disrupt my quest of preventing others from walking around in public looking like filthy buggers. Do I hear a nomination for an award on Oprah's Angel Network? Holla!!

(I may "forget" to mention that you have shit stuck in between your teeth or have crusty boogers in your nose if deep down I think you're prettier than me.)

i.e. "Wow. You really won $25,000 in a Jessica Simpson look-a-like contest? ... Huh... Here - want some poppyseeds to munch on? They're delicious."

Don't judge me.