Wintery Humiliation

The only good thing about these horrifc winter snow storms is the opportunity to witness moments such as these:

Victim #1

WHEN: 8:32am
WHERE: Queen Subway Station - Northbound Train
THE VICTIM: 5'10" male. Approximately 35. Brown hair. Glasses.
NATURE OF FALL: Victim rushed the doors as they were closing. Floor was slick. Full-on slippage followed. For a second, victim was airborne and totally parallel to the train floor. Landed on back.
POSSIBLE CAUSES: Converse shoes. Poor time management. Hubris.
I WAS LEFT FEELING: Anxious. Empty. Like I should call someone just to say 'I love you'

Victim #2

WHEN: 3:30pm
WHERE: Yonge Street - Outside Starbucks
THE VICTIM: 4'11" Female. Brown hair. Wanna-be Diva.
NATURE OF FALL: Victim pitched forward unexpectedly, knees sunk into a patch of snow that was suspiciously beige. Wee little hands clutching an extra long cigarette followed. Victim emitted a jagged peal of self-conscious laughter into her cell phone, a clear indication she was crying on the inside.
POSSIBLE CAUSES: Non-hemmed Citizens of Humanity jeans. Adorable little pointy shoes had style yet lacked traction.
I WAS LEFT FEELING: Gleeful. Then guilty. Then an oddly pleasurable combination of both...


Two falls in one day and that's not even including the killer drunken wipe-out's I saw last night at our company party .... Happy Valentine's Day to me!