Tis' The Season

If there is one thing I detest about the Holiday Season, its shopping. Don't get me wrong, I am a girl and I do like to buy stuff - but Christmas Shopping usually means I have to go the the mall. I hate the mall.

Apart from the obvious reasons (mass production items), I hate the mall because I cannot stand running into the people I would otherwise be happy to never see again. When I do spot these "people" I usually just look the opposite way and pray they don't see me .. but my friends usually want to flag the person down and "catch up" - not for any genuine reasons of course, they just like to be able to compare their life stats.

So, this Saturday I was shopping with my friend Renata- we're on the escalator heading to the third level of the mall and she spots "S" - this chick we went to highschool with. She also has 4 kids with 3 different guys (which in itself is fascinating but not enough to make me want to stop and talk to her).

Renata is all: "OMG! There's "S" - let's go talk to her!"

Me: "No. No. No. No. No."

"S" spots us, and is looking right into my face as I am still saying "No. No. No"

Renata: "Heeyyyyyy! How are you?? OMG, its been soooo long!"

As their meaningless banter is exchanged I am standing there - with a forced half smirky-smile on my face .... This is all I am capable of. I can't even muster up a "Hi, how are ya?" The words just feel trapped in my chest. Maybe not "trapped" so much as really fucking lazy. Like they just smoked a huge bowl and can't be persuaded to come out unless it involved pizza or Doritos. Because I have neither, the words aren't gonna budge. If I do somehow get them out, they feel awkward and forced ... and soooooo obviously fake.

So I choose to stand there - watching as Renata and "S" have the most insincere conversation I have ever witnessed. Then "S" turns to me and says: "So, whats up with you??"

Me: "Nothing. I'm really sick right now."

"S": "Ya, you look it."

Bitch.

Renata and "S" exchange good-byes, promises to hook up, "Email me, bitch!" "For sure!" Blah. Blah. Blah.

The second we're out of ear shot:

Renata: "What a fucking loser."

There's 5 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Perfect.