Don't you hate when your pets are cheap?

Actual IM conversation yesterday about my friend Kenny's new pitbull Franklin.


Reb: What’s franklin like?

Kenny: Well, he’s actually pretty frugal.

Reb: Your dog is frugal?

Kenny: Yes

Reb: Because he doesn’t spend much money?

Kenny: That’s right - he doesn’t spend much. Hardly any at all really.

Reb: Don’t you think he doesn’t spend money because he is a dog, and not because he is frugal?

Kenny: I don’t see what you mean.

Reb: He is a dog.

Kenny: Right.

Reb: Dogs don't spend money.

Kenny: No, he doesn’t spend MUCH money. Hardly any in fact. I can’t remember the last time
he even got out his wallet.

Reb: He has a wallet?

Kenny: Of course he has a wallet! Where would he keep his money?

Reb: Where does he keep his wallet?

Kenny: I’m not sure, I haven’t seen him take it out in a while. It isn’t polite to talk about money
with friends.

Reb: But it’s your dog.

Kenny: I know. He’s sensitive.

Reb: I thought you said he is frugal?

Kenny: He’s many things to many different people.

Reb: What does that even mean?

Kenny: So frugal people can’t be sensitive? Fuck, you’re an asshole. Now, if you’ll excuse me,
Franklin and I are off to by a race car.

Reb: I thought you said he is frugal!

Kenny: Oh he is. I am the Spendy Spenderson. Franklin will be bitching the whole time about how we should get the least expensive race car possible.



Seriously.