MmmmmmmmmHmmmmmmmmmm

and he has most of his own teeth ....which is kind of a big deal ....

Issue of the Week ... so far

I've seriously had it with public transportation. Coupled with the fact that Mother Nature is a total whore, yesterday I fully waited 45 minutes for the streetcar in the freezing cold, while my waiting companions shared their verbal validation of the city's disrespect for particular ethnic groups. By the time the streetcar got there, they had mustered up such collective anger I'm suprised there wasn't a revolt ... against me ... because I'm white.

If you happen take the bus anytime after 9pm you'll notice that ALL the people on it are verfiably NOT in in a hurry due to the fact they are either:


a) Insane/Drunk /Homeless
b) 100 years old


Additionally, everytime I get onto the subway or streetcar, 9 times out of 10 I will be forced into some sort of verbal altercation with those who fall into category "a". And chances are, the cracked-out drunk guy that I just told to go fuck himself, is getting off at my stop.... .... because I live in the ghetto and I'm just lucky like that. F'n A!

Good-Bye, Sweet Valley High

When I was about 13, long before I developed some sort of adult attention defecit disorder and became too lazy to read anything but blogs and magazines, I used to suck down Young Adult books by the dozen. As I remember, my YA books were always about poor kids; Poor kids trying to fit in at rich schools. Poor kids living in boxcars and getting by on sheer luck. Poor kids keeping stiff upper lips after dad lost his job. (Ramona Quimby, I'm looking at you.) In one book, Papa Quimby took the family to a hamburger restaurant and it was as though Jesus Christ had descended to Earth and bought them a burger. Or that scatterbrain Booky (pronounced Boo-ky) whose family was so poor, she and her brother were on the school "lunch program" for welfare kids (which, I can only speculate, was the reason I thought SPAM sandwiches on stale bread sounded appealing). Even those Sweet Valley twins, Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield, lived in a "split level ranch house" which, in a suburb like Sweet Valley, was clearly only middle-class digs.

That's why, when browsing the site of a local publishing agent, I was really surprised by the volume of rich-kid lit. I don't know what happened to all the poor kids, but now it's all about brand names, naughty missent text messages, and throw-downs at debutante balls. I do remember a racy Babysitters Club special in which Stacy and Mallory went to Surf City, New Jersey - but it wasn't anything like this passage from the book "Psyche In A Dress" currently available in the Young Readers section:

The next night we ate avocados, oranges and honey in Orpheus's candlelit cavern deep in the canyon. I wore strapless pale lace and tulle and lilies in my hair.
"Tell me" he said. "Tell me a story"
This in itself was an aphrodisiac.
My throat opened like a flower.


I don't know if I'm disturbed, or just jealous that I never got to read anything close to this titillating. I suspect the latter. I have pretty much always been a perv - which would explain why Samantha Fox's song "Touch Me" really spoke to me at the ripe age of 11.

In case you are not versed on the inspiring musical creations of Samantha Fox, here is a little taster from "Touch Me."

Hot and cold emotion confusing my brain
I could not decide between pleasure and pain.
Like a tramp in the night I was begging for you
To treat my body like you wanted to.

(moan, moan)

Touch me , touch me
I want to feel your body
Your heart beat next to mine
Touch me - Touch me now!
Cuz I want your body all the time

(moan, moan)

So, I apparently could have used a little avocado and honey back in my pre-teen days.

Okay, now too.

Gilmore Grief

Lorelai Gilmore has broken a lot of hearts. Max Medina and Digger (delightful companions both) were pretty much tossed aside for no good reason other than Lorelai's ditzy immaturity. And yet that didn't trouble me at all, because she was so charming and because I wanted her with Luke anyways, regardless of how sexy Chris was. This season, however, things are different.

I don't like Christopher. I never have. I hate the fact that they sent her back to him, and that they got married so hastily. I hate what a whiner he is. But this new Lorelai, this charmless Lorelai from whom forced banter awkwardly springs forth, can't get away with crushing him in order to fix her fuck-up with Luke as she might have in the past. There's Rory and Gigi. There's the fact that she actually said I do. But most importantly, there's the fact that after seven years now, I have the distinct feeling that she hasn't learned anything or changed at all. Which makes me really not like her. It makes me think that Luke could probably do better.

So...fix it please, new writing team members. Luke and Lorelai need to be together by the time the series ends (sooner rather than later? We all know this season's numbers haven't been great...) and if at all possible, I don't want to feel dirty about it.

A Little Food for Thought

Why is it the government knows exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows , but haven't a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists cells are located? I propose the Department of Agriculture should be put in charge of immigration. Thoughts?

Let The Record Show ...

...I successfully spent almost thirty hours this weekend lying in the same spot on my couch for two days straight. Well, minus the time I spent sleeping in my bed.

Of course, something like this is not accomplished all by oneself.
Thanks goes out to Nuala for joining me in my cave of slack Sunday, and doing as she always does, accompanying and promoting my self-indulgent sloth.

It was an invigorating two days.

Holla.

Election '08

Obama Takes First Step Toward Running in ’08
From the NY Times

WASHINGTON – Senator Barack Obama took his first step into the Democratic presidential race today by opening an exploratory committee to raise money and begin building a campaign designed “to change our politics.” He said he would make a formal declaration Feb. 10 in Illinois.

Looks like it could be a showdown between Hilary and Barack for the Democratic Party nomination. Personally, I think Hilary should be put to sleep, so it's clear who I think should win. So, who do you think has a better shot? The black man, or the woman? Personally, I think a black man will be president before a woman. Only because women menstruate, and you know what they say about menstruation ... bears can smell it.